Issue #1: Connection
“Tidings” is a monthly newsletter where you can find musings on class themes, poems and playlists featured in class, as well as my teaching schedule. I am so grateful you are here.
December felt like a cracking point. Life as a plate glass window and pebbles steadily being tossed upon it. A handful had rained down it seemed from August on. Some hurled with hurricane force, others a gentle lob. Eventually small fractures and chips along the glass splintered. All it took was one small pebble to hit right on target, to shatter, to fall apart.
Coming undone is not a practice I particularly enjoy but it’s one I was forced to yield to this month. And it is an untethering I am (spoiler) grateful for. The crystalline plane of life simply broke under a bit too much pressure. Too many pebbles. Too much force. Too many unmended, untended cracks. What was left was a heap of shards and an ocean wave of tears.
The straw, the camel, and whatnot.
Dramatic? Perhaps. But if you have ever cried while hugging yourself, trying to physically get the atoms of your body to stay together, you might get the drama. I was staring down at what felt like a kindergarten mosaic project gone wrong; slivers scattered about unsure what fit together, what to leave or pick up, how to put anything into place in a way that made sense. So what to do next? Naturally, one must post a cry- for-help-cringe Instagram reel to your close friend's story as a way of alerting everyone you are not well. Yes, dear reader, this is in fact what I did! And I would do it again. I would even go a step further and say I recommend it! Blasphemous. While social media might be the devil disguised in pristine squares, there are benefits, mainly being a conduit of connection when it functions at its best.
The whispers of loved ones swept in like the softest, warmest morning mist:
‘Just calling, no pressure to pick up. I’d love to hear your voice.’
‘I ordered you cake, check your door in 15 minutes.’
‘I’m so glad you shared this with me.’
‘Come cry on my couch.’
‘Dance with me.’
‘Here’s a song.’
‘Yoga tonight?’
‘I love you.’
‘I’m here.’
That cringe conch shell call (yes, I did see Moana 2 this month) of an Instagram reel had been my reminder that asking for help is indeed the best, albeit most scary, thing. Slowly it felt like the people I love dearly in my life were sitting down beside me, whether near or far, and with the most tender, fervent hands, cradling the glassy shards that I am composed of and puzzling them back together with reverence, with love. Smoothing over sharp corners, running their hands over rough grooves. Mending me enough to feel haphazardly whole again.
A tear tenderly wiped from a cheek with the softest touch. A side smile while doing a burpee perfectly in unison (let it be known I never do the push up at the bottom). A belly laugh on a friend's couch while recounting the previous evening's events. Moments of active listening. Of presence. Of holding. Of care. Of connection.
That is where I am starting this year in spirit, on the mat and in classes: Focused on connection. To begin a new year rooted in the love around me sounds like planting a fertile plot to pull from. We will see what grows. In my most recent experience I am reminded that connection is a balm to so much. Shame often quivers at the thought of connection. Grief finds a softer place to land. Joy feels that much more palpable in community. At least for me.
You might have heard yoga teachers define the word yoga as “to yoke”, “to bring together” or “create a union.” To connect. Bringing the body and mind together, whether they want to be or not. My mat has always challenged me to connect to myself, to stay with discomfort, to build resilience, to create an internal home for myself even during the most distressing of times. Group classes have offered a place of accountability and peaceful community even when the idea of talking to another human made me want to screech; flowing next to someone felt doable even moreso, comforting. Where has connection brought you comfort? Where has connection sustained you? I am inviting you to explore connection, with yourself and others, on your mat this month.
How have you asked for help lately? Where do you find support?
When do you feel connected to yourself?
What needs to be released to deepen connection with yourself or others? What new connections are you looking for?
I look forward to posing and perhaps answering some of these in class or in conversation. Find my class schedule, playlists, and featured poems/bits/clips for January below.
With gratitude,
Tori
Flow Playlist / Sculpt Playlist
Poems/Bits/Clips
If any of these excerpts speak to you I recommend clicking through to enjoy to the full work.
“There’s a dream I have in which I love the world. I run from end to end like fingers through her hair. There are no borders, only wind. Like you, I was born. Like you, I was raised in the institution of dreaming. Hand on my heart. Hand on my stupid heart.” - Cameron Awkward-Rich, Meditations in an Emergency
“Your legacy, in some ways, is what you love and what you’ve asked other people to love alongside you.” - Hanif Abdurraquib, City Arts & Lectures
“How many kinds of love/ might there be in the world,/ and how many formations might they make/ and who am I ever/ to imagine I could know/ such a marvelous business?” Mary Oliver, On the Beach
“cannot stop laughing/ sick of fighting/ not sure if we’ll work out/ results in the morning/ nightmare unfolding/ we are right here and/ tell us the hard part/ tell us you’ll try” - Katie Baer, Friend Text Thread
“listen I love you joy is coming” - Kim Addonizio, To the Woman Crying Uncontrollably in the Next Stall
If you have any feedback, thoughts, or reflections please reach out. I’d love to connect.
You are such a good writer ♥️
❤️❤️❤️